In which I tell you about my first kiss.

| Friday, February 10, 2012
Today's Tune: Lovefool

I stare into the mirror at a girl I don't know. Her blond hair is twisted back into a bizarre knot-thing. She's dressed in black head to toe. Her lips are painted dark purple-brown and her blue eyes are surrounded in eyeliner.

I feel like an idiot. A weirdo. A pretender. My best friend, Cassie, insists that I look older and amazing. She dressed me, after all.

Cassie's been to lots of movies by herself, but not me. My dad doesn't much like letting his 13-year-old daughter go out without supervision. His eyes pass over my makeup, my hair, my clothes. He doesn't say anything, though. He doesn't know there will be BOYS at this movie. He's probably just silently thanking the Patron Saint of Overprotective Fathers that I'm wearing a high neck and long sleeves.

The theater is seething with people. I see a handful of popular girls from school and dip my head. They wave to Cassie and don't even look at me. The sickly yellow glow of the lobby lights spreads across the pavement as we stand in line for tickets to see Bevis and Butthead Do America. Not my first choice, but certainly the cooler pick.

Kyle and Jaime walk toward us and slip into line nearby.

We're filing into the theater, almost to the front row. I purposely fall behind and let the boys enter the row first, followed by Cassie. She's my buffer. She's always been my buffer.

The movie starts and I'm instantly bored. I laugh when I'm supposed to laugh even though I don't find it especially funny. Mostly I whisper to Cassie. Then she and Jaime start to whisper.

An elbow finds my ribs and a voice finds my ear.

"You should kiss Kyle."


Jaime's whispering to Kyle on the other side. I can't make out what they're saying past the "heh heh heh's" and "huh huh huh's" coming from the surround sound.

Kyle leans around and looks at me. He doesn't look excited or lecherous or flirty. He looks like his friend is telling him to kiss a girl and he doesn't know how to say no.

Cassie, on the other hand, sounds thrilled. "Your first kiss! Come on, do it!"

Our buffers lean back. Kyle and I try to find the other's eyes in the dark. They're watching. Our friends are watching.

So we lean across two laps and give each other a peck on the mouth, immediately retreating to our respective seats. My heart's pushing blood through my body like it thinks I can't get enough. Butthead fills the screen in front of me. I can't stop thinking about my lips. They tingle.

"Not like that."

I look at Cassie. I don't know what to say.

"A real kiss. With tongue."

With tongue? That is so not what I signed up for.

Cassie and Jaime crawl to the row in front, then turn around to watch us, the movie forgotten. Kyle doesn't move at first. At Jaime's prompting, he scoots over to the seat next to me and rubs his hands on his pants. Is this really happening? This is not at all the way I pictured it. I wonder what Kyle's thinking.

In the same instant, like we resolved to get it over with at the same time, Kyle and I lean in and there is a tongue in my mouth. It's weird. Not bad-weird, just... weird. And then it's over.

Our friends turn around, giggling and obviously pleased with themselves. We don't say anything. Our eyes are glued to the screen, where Bevis is doing his Cornholio bit in the White House. My whole body feels tight. I'm very aware of Kyle's every movement next to me.

I'm so aware that I feel the warmth of his hand several seconds before it touches mine. He wraps his fingers around it. I chance a glance at him. He's smiling.

And there, in the dark, with my black clothes and my knotted hair and my purple-brown lipstick that left a smudge on his mouth, I'm smiling, too.

We hold hands all the way out to the parking lot. Jaime and Cassie let us go off ahead. The light out here is brighter, cleaner. More like starlight.

Kyle's still smiling. We lean in again. This time, no one's watching.


TRUE STORY, you guys. I bet you cash money all of these people happen to pick today of all days to read my blog and rib me about it. Also, SORRY DAD. Happy Friday!


{ vic caswell (aspiring-x) } at: February 10, 2012 at 6:48 AM said...

too cute!

{ Amanda Olivieri } at: February 10, 2012 at 7:54 AM said...

I loved this! I forgot it was a true story after the first sentence because I felt like I was reading a scene in a novel. Great descriptions-I felt like I was really there. Tell me you changed the peoples names? No? Yeah, they'll definitely read it haha.

{ Old Kitty } at: February 10, 2012 at 7:55 AM said...

With tongue!!??! LOL! Erm.... ew!! LOL!

Aww but seriously - this is so sweet!

Take care

{ prerna pickett } at: February 10, 2012 at 8:18 AM said...

hahaha, great story. I don't know if I could have done with an audience.

{ We Heart YA } at: February 10, 2012 at 8:34 AM said...

AWWW. What a sweet story.

{ TL Conway } at: February 10, 2012 at 8:45 AM said...

This is fantastic! And takes serious cajones to write!

But hang on... you guys were in the second row? So everyone in the theater could see you? Yikes! In my high school, it was all about the back row...

{ Yiling } at: February 10, 2012 at 12:05 PM said...

AWWWW. That is so cute :)

{ Steph Sinkhorn } at: February 10, 2012 at 4:11 PM said...

Hahahaha, thanks, dudes. I'm glad you find it cute. I still find it sort of embarrassing, but hey, what's adolescence without MASSIVE EMBARRASSMENT.

TL - Yeah, we were in the front rows. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT. NOW I'M MORE EMBARRASSED.

{ E.J. Wesley } at: February 10, 2012 at 4:23 PM said...

Very timely romantic-type story, Steph! Beautifully described, as always.


{ Tara } at: February 11, 2012 at 11:03 AM said...

=) =)

{ Christi Goddard } at: February 11, 2012 at 5:53 PM said...

That was too cute.

{ Mrs. Silverstein } at: February 19, 2012 at 4:50 PM said...

I feel like this would make a really great anthology of short pieces for reluctant readers. Or like that anthology might already exist and I want to buy it for my classroom.

My first kiss only happened because someone threw up on a long bus ride. I was sitting next to her, so I moved to the back with the cool kids who were playing Truth or Dare. After the inciting incident, I guess it was pretty cute--it was eighth grade and he was slowly emerging as the Dawson to my Joey, and when I got home--no lie--the first song on the radio when I got in bed that night was "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer. Then I nobly pined away for the next five years while he dated my blonder friends and told me nobody understood him like I did, etc. etc. So, less cute again.

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