Twitter attracts all sorts of writers and writerly folk. Get enough together and you start to sense a pattern. Have you ever wondered what your writer's Twitter bio says about you? Then you've come to the right post.
* A note: this is intended as lighthearted humor, not mockery. There are many different stages to writing and publishing, and they're all valid. Hopefully we can all see ourselves somewhere in here and have a good chuckle.
** Also all usernames/personas are totally made up. Except for one. You'll know which one.
Translation: Pretty much as advertised. You're a newer writer who's probably just getting started on your journey, and you're really excited about where it's going to take you. That's awesome!
Translation: You're still not comfortable calling yourself an author yet, but you're working on it. Keep going. I'd tell you the confidence comes with time, but let's be real, we're writers. We're forever chasing confidence.
Translation: You're very much enjoying the absolute freedom that comes with self-publishing whatever you want, whenever you want, on the schedule you set. Livin' the dream indeed.
Translation: You're posting a whole lot of work over on Amazon and you heard that Twitter was really kickass for selling stuff and you're wondering if anyone's interested in buying a book or ten. You also use TrueTwit validation service. #mostamazingbookanyonehaseverwritten #buyitnow
Translation: You are super into literature and literary everything and you're very smart and people should probably listen to your insider insight because you know your shizz. You're also really into Popular Television Show and like to squee about it once a week with your followers.
Translation: Gonna go out on a limb here and say you're a book blogger.
Translation: You're indicating to everyone that while you're not yet published, you've still got chops and might be worth their time. OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME PLEEEAAAASE LOOOOOVE MEEEEEEE. (Your illustrious blog host may resemble this one. A smidge. Just a little.)
Translation: You've leaped the big hurdle and made it to the almost-published stage. You have a really real book that will be a real thing at a very real time sometime in the nebulous future. People may want to pay attention to you for real now. OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME NOW PLEEEAAAASE THE ANXIETY OH GOD.
Translation: Congratulations, you've finally settled into and are comfortable with your identity as "author." You probably have several books under your belt, you think it's pretty reasonable to admit that you'd like it if people actually read those books, and you actually enjoy hanging out on Twitter and just being you.
Translation: You're pretty big shit, but you're trying to be cool and not brag about it. You may get to go on book tours where people actually pay to see you, but you know, whatever, you're still just a person. Thank you, thank you!
Translation: You're Stephen King. Bio? Why?